that one time God finally said yes

So I've been on the nicotine patch for quite some time. It's a well known fact that when you sleep with it on, you get these crazy vivid dreams. I'm pretty in tune with my dreams as is, so you throw the patch in the equation they get borderline prophetic. I've had dreams about people and interactions and usually within 72 hours somehow it comes true. I dreamt that my father died on a Monday and I got the call that he did on a Friday.

Last night, I dreamt I was with my dad. We were in the cafeteria of the hospital he was at when I last some him alive. We were eating cake. We were talking about everything and nothing. And of all the dreams I've randomly had that randomly came true (friends, family, boyfriends, exes) I wish this one did. I don't remember what my dad and I talked about in this dream. Mostly that he was healthy and at peace.

I was cleaning out through some scrap book stuff and I found this poem. My father had sent it out with the christmas cards when I was a kid (it was my job to color in the holly and ivy). Its about a man asking God to wipe away his bad traits or do things for him and god says no. When he finally asks the right question, god finally says yes.

The poem was titled by the author "and god said no". What struck me as a kid was that my dad had photocopied this poem to send out, then on each page, replaced  (by hand) the word "no" with "yes" and inserted the word "finally" before "said" on every copy.

The message of the poem didn't change. But the frame of mind you go into reading it does: god will say yes.

For the last few months, I've asked god to take away the pain, to dry my tears, to make me forget and move on.

Last night, in my dream, I asked god if my dad was at peace and happy. And he finally said yes.